I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
