It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
