Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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