a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
