I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
