So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
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