I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
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