strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
