At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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