He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
