She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
