I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
