Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
