Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
