we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
