would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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