You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
