vagina is talking i cant
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize