is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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