No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
