Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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