just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
