I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
