we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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