Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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