So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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