He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
