I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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