i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
