he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
