I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
So squirting runs in the family.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Randomize
