i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize