i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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