I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
