I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
