She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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