Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
The air taste purple.
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