your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
