When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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