playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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