Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(760): View more from California

I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.

(818): View more from California

haha i love mojitos

(760): View more from California

ya and i hate cabbage

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(760): I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage. (818): haha i love mojitos (760): ya and i hate cabbage http://tfl.nu/vdoy

Replies (1) Good night (523) Bad night (1942)
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(386): View more from Florida

I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.

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(386): I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to. http://tfl.nu/dqrr

Replies (44) Good night (1747) Bad night (5457) Order T-Shirt
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(512): View more from Texas

I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.

(573): View more from Missouri

Successful day.

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(512): I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave. (573): Successful day. http://tfl.nu/6nom

Replies (26) Good night (4265) Bad night (1177)
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(407): View more from Florida

Your dick is once again the conversation topic.

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(407): Your dick is once again the conversation topic. http://tfl.nu/okqh

Replies (12) Good night (4438) Bad night (484) Order T-Shirt
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(956): View more from Texas

She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.

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(956): She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy. http://tfl.nu/bi3k

Replies (11) Good night (1375) Bad night (4004) Order T-Shirt
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(504): View more from Louisiana

how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?

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(504): how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades? http://tfl.nu/s5wu

Replies (79) Good night (15428) Bad night (2678) Order T-Shirt
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(631): View more from New York

You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.

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(631): You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it. http://tfl.nu/dj6o

Replies (19) Good night (2126) Bad night (6503) Order T-Shirt
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(631): View more from New York

OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester

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(631): OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester http://tfl.nu/vz3v

Replies (16) Good night (938) Bad night (4001) Order T-Shirt
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(312): View more from Illinois

The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin

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(312): The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin http://tfl.nu/3kj0

Replies (3) Good night (736) Bad night (2607)
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(972): View more from Texas

By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.

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(972): By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor. http://tfl.nu/m469

Replies (6) Good night (2428) Bad night (754) Order T-Shirt
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(718): View more from New York

My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.

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(718): My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life. http://tfl.nu/zkml

Replies (6) Good night (718) Bad night (1231) Order T-Shirt
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(646): View more from New York

According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.

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(646): According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth. http://tfl.nu/o8r4

Replies (9) Good night (460) Bad night (1242) Order T-Shirt
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(415): View more from California

Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.

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(415): Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that. http://tfl.nu/2d02

Replies (8) Good night (1025) Bad night (319) Order T-Shirt
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.

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(603): His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice. http://tfl.nu/yv8x

Replies (1) Good night (1004) Bad night (343) Order T-Shirt
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something

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(612): Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something http://tfl.nu/w0o2

Replies (2) Good night (406) Bad night (190) Order T-Shirt

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