A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
How drunk are you?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first