Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
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Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
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Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.