i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
