I'm really into asian looking animals
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.