She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
