Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
