weddingsv make me drug and hornr
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
