I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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