ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
