the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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