Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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