Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
