he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
