Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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