have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize