What a fucking waste of an outfit
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
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Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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