yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
