How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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