We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
