your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
