What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
